Mental Health >> How to Support a Friend
How to Support a Friend
1. Check In
•
Start gently: “Hey, I’ve noticed you seem a bit down. Want to chat? I’m here.”
•
A simple check-in can open a supportive conversation and show you care.
2. Listen, Don’t Try to Fix
•
Let them talk at their own pace.
•
Ask open questions like “What’s been the hardest part lately?” or “How can I help today?”
•
Avoid dismissive phrases like “cheer up.” Listening without judgment matters.
3. Encourage a Small Step
•
Avoid only saying “get help.”
•
Offer support with action: “Would it help to message Lifeline or book a uni counsellor? I can sit with you.”
•
Being present for a small step can make a big difference.
4. Check Back In
•
Follow up with a short message.
•
Ask permission to check in again: “Can I check in tomorrow?”
•
Ongoing care shows you’re serious about supporting them.
Listening Without Judgment
DO
•
Give them space to speak and reflect back what you hear.
•
Keep the conversation private and respectful.
•
Use open-ended questions to encourage sharing.
DON’T
•
Don’t compare or minimise their experience.
•
Don’t promise to keep self-harm secret—get help together if safety is a concern.
Encourage them to seek help
Offer to help them call, chat, or visit together:
•
Study Melbourne – Mental health services for international students.
•
Mental Health & Wellbeing Locals – free walk-in support (26+).
•
Partners in Wellbeing (VIC) – 1300 375 330.
•
Lifeline – 13 11 14 (24/7).
•
Beyond Blue – 24/7 webchat.
•
headspace – free support for ages 12–25.
•
Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467.
•
Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800 (ages 5–25).
•
NURSE-ON-CALL (VIC) – 1300 60 60 24.
•
Language support available via TIS National – 131 450.
Recognising signs of distress
Look for changes that last more than a couple of weeks or feel sudden/intense:
•
Mood changes: sadness, anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or feeling like a burden.
•
Behaviour changes: withdrawing, missing classes, sleep or appetite changes, increased substance use
•
Thinking changes: difficulty concentrating, negative self-talk, thoughts of self-harm or suicid
Handy Phrases You Can Use
Start the conversation
•
“Hey, you’ve seemed really stressed lately. Want to grab a coffee and talk?”
•
A caring check-in with no pressure can open the door to support.
Support during the chat
•
“Thanks for telling me — that sounds tough.”
•
“What feels helpful right now? Talking, or maybe a short walk?”
•
Listening and offering small options shows care without pressure.
Encourage getting help
•
“Want to call Lifeline (13 11 14) or start a Beyond Blue webchat?”
•
“I can stay with you while we do it.”
Plan a check-in
•
“Can I check in tomorrow?”
•
“If tonight gets too hard, we can call a helpline together.”
Do a low-pressure activity together
•
Suggest something familiar: a short walk, cooking, drawing, sport, or a campus club.
•
Side-by-side activities can make talking feel easier.
•
Let them choose the activity and keep it flexible.
•
Avoid alcohol or drugs — stick to supportive, safe options.
Do a low-pressure activity together
•
Suggest something familiar: a short walk, cooking, drawing, sport, or a campus club.
•
Side-by-side activities can make talking feel easier.
•
Let them choose the activity and keep it flexible.
•
Avoid alcohol or drugs — stick to supportive, safe options.
Food & student-friendly events
•
Cook or eat a favourite food together — keep it simple and low-pressure.
•
Visit student-friendly markets or free community events.
•
Study Melbourne events, What’s On Melbourne, Eventbrite, or campus student centres.
•
“There’s a free student event this week — want to go together? We can leave early if it’s too much.”
